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When last we left the village (about 2 weeks ago) whose entire existence was to support pulling babies form the stream, a search party had gone upstream to find out where the babies were coming from. Meanwhile there were still babies coming down the stream. As you may remember, a very sophisticated infrastructure had arisen to pull the babies from the stream. The folks who took the lead, the “baby savers,” took their job very seriously and were valued. They often had to jump in and save babies who were coming down or might have to manipulate the equipment to pluck one from the waterfall. As befits their importance, they were paid very well and had an honored place in the village.

The baby savers executive committee, already threatened by the fear that the search party might find where the babies are coming from and put a stop to it, began looking somewhat critically at the entire operation:

Baby saver president: As you know, we have been looking into the “babies in the stream” issue. We have a lot of folks who care a whole lot about babies and have been giving  there time to make sure the babies are pulled safely from the water. However, it seems there is room for improvement.

Village baby saver: What do you mean improvement, we work our butts off.

Village baby saver 2: Yeah, we are up all night. Often I have to jump in. The water is cold.

Baby saver president: Well, we have started to keep track of your work and, to be honest, we are not doing some of the things we should. As you know, we pay you by the baby.

Village baby saver 3: Your point?

Baby saver president: Not to name names, but I think we should have thought through this more carefully. I’m not going to name names, but one of you pulls out a lot of babies. Many of these babies are blue when they come out and the baby resuscitators are complaining. They say you (not to name names) are too rough and push others out of the way so that you can get the most babies.

Village baby saver 2: They are just jealous.

Baby saver president: And one of you, again I’m not naming names, is just too old to do this. Your eyesight is poor and you don’t swim well. The resuscitators have to jump in and grab your babies but then you take credit.

Village baby saver 3: They need to step back and let me do my job.

Baby saver president: I suspect the search party will be successful and there will be many fewer babies going forward. So we are going to start posting how well you do on the wall over there and it may well be that some of you won’t be able to be baby savers any more. From now on, everyone will know how many babies you catch, what percent are blue, and how many went over the waterfall that you should have saved.

Village baby savers (talking at once): wait, that isn’t fair. How is it my problem if they come down too fast? What if more than 2 people are on a shift? I have a wife and kids to feed. Those resuscitators can kiss my…

If you want to see how hospitals do in regards to preventable mortality and certain procedures and use that to pick your hospital, the government’s hospital compare website is for you (go to this site). If you want to see if your hospital or surgeon has an unusual number of complications or just doesn’t do a lot of the procedures that you need, Propublica has a tool that compares individual surgeons (go to this site). If you want to float along and let a random person pull you out of the water and hope they do a good job, enjoy the ride and I hope you avoid the waterfall.

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